Wolverine - eh, not HORRIBLE, but definitely not great either. Not worth full price, but it did have some nice sequences, mostly the first half. The second half gets pretty WTF. And what the hell, Gambit sucked. Disappointing. and the Deadpool thing was kind of stupid as well. Just lots of disjointed directing on this one. Blergh. Sabretooth was kinda fun, though. I'm glad they didn't just make him into some dumb animal type guy like they did in the first Xmen movie... 2/5

Terminator 4 - MUCH better than Terminator 3. It's like, it took most of what was ok in T3 and turned it up a notch, got rid of most of the cheesy cheese poof humor/ parody, and added a few twists along with some other interesting concepts. The 'surprise' cameo towards the end knocked my socks off just because I was not even expecting it. Overall, I'd say a matinee, it's a pretty decent action movie. It was missing something, but I can't quite figure out what. It IS a step back in the right direction for Terminator, however. 3/5 stars

TRANSFORMERS 2 - sigh... fucking despicable. Horrible. This one is easily at the bottom of the barrel for me this year. Probably even the last 3 years. It had fucking BALLS on transformers for f***s sake!

The movie was hardly about the transformers at all. Yes, the CG was INCREDIBLE, the fight sequences were pretty damn cool and pretty fucking hardcore brutal. There's a couple of times when Optimus is kinda scary, because he's all callous and almost cruel - not the honorable warrior type of Optimus you'd grown up with if you were a fan of the old show. The thing is... like I was saying, the movie was hardly about the transformers at all.

They had VERY LITTLE personality and character going on with the transformers. Aside from Starscream, Megatron, Optimus, & Bumblebee (who mind you, still had very little fleshing out to be had), the rest of the metallic hunks were reduced to being mere set pieces. And as a result, you hardly give a shit when they die or are hurt (unlike the old show, the Transformers' various personalities and clashes were a big part of the point - why doesn't anybody seem to get that?). Mind you, it was nice to see some banter finally between Megatron & Starscream that was heavily reminiscent of the good ol stuff... But overall the treatment of the characters was just disrespectful and insulting at best.

Oh, just one thing tho. For some reason, they forgot Megatron is a power hungry megalomaniac. They have him being all subservient to 'the fallen', for no real reason, with nothing up his sleeve, no hidden agenda, not even a 'Megatron obeys no one!' or any sort of backstabbery at all. C'mon, the real Megatron would've screwed 'the fallen' over to keep all the energon for himself, or something devious like that!

The movie was packed with crude humor, leg humping robots, fucking Devastator testicles that they show not once, but THREE times, and if that's not enough, Simmons yells out 'I'm underneath the enemies' scrotum!' at one point when asked for coordinates. Fucking groan. Near the beginning there's a fruit fucker (like the one from Penny Arcade) - complete with penis and shiny red lightbulb on the tip of it. And there's farting transformers, too. Oh, and there's a couple of dog humping scene's too, cause you know, that's exactly what you should expect if you go see a Transformers movie. Seriously.

Gawd I wish I was kidding...

And I'm sure by now you've heard of what's been dubbed the Jar-Jar Bots... you know, they were pretty bad, but I think the prepubescent so-called humor nearly overshadowed that nonsense.


If you MUST see it (or are even morbidly curious), I would recommend a $2 show, or a cheap matinee. If the crass & cheap humor I described is your cup of tea though, you may enjoy it more than I did. I just found all that shit out of context, inappropriate and again, disrespectful to the source material.

The plot & premise was kinda decent, it's just unfortunate that the filmmakers didn't really make you care enough about it.

Some people may cry 'blasphemer!' or whatever, and say things like 'well what'd you expect, it's a movie about big robots f***ing stuff up!' - 'omg it's not supposed to be Shakespeare or whatever.' Give me a break, there's plenty of intelligent action movies (that are PACKED with action), and this could've been one hell of an epic.
If I had gone in to see, I dunno, Anchorman or even Year One, sure, ok whatever... but this was Transformers, you guys! Grargh

You know what this was? This movie was the next entry from the people that made SCARY MOVIE, EPIC MOVIE, and they should've called this one 'ROBOT MOVIE'. Same quality of humor.

Yeah, I was expecting some character development, a better focus on the Decepticons and the Autobots, you know... actually making them Characters, not just disposable set pieces which is what it seems they've been reduced to - So yeah, all that as well as the action, gripping edge of your seat scenes, and all that good stuff that fun stuff that should be in a big action movie. It's not like it can't be done!

1.5/5 stars (and most of that is only earned due to the visual effects and amazing graphics - otherwise this thing would be in the negatives. Kudos to the artists behind those great scenes, though I feel sorry for whoever had to render the Devastator's constructicle balls - I can picture the brief "Mr. Bay wants more sparks as they clang together and also wants them swinging more!")

Give me the old Transformers: The Movie (animated) any time over this trash.

At least that had substance, was GOOD, and most importantly was actually ABOUT transformers, instead of Bay's frat boy fantasies and petty humor.

And you know... some people are going to say stuff like 'Well I'm a BIG FAN and I grew up with Transformers, etc etc', Yeah SPARE ME. I know. I find it baffling how I too am a fan etc etc, but it's crazy how divided the fans (both new and old) are about this pile of doggy doo. Some say 'omg so awsum best movie evarr!!!' and others say 'this movie is crap! F U Michael Bay!'.

(on another note... Michael Bay has managed to teabag millions of people, repeatedly, and at least half of them seem to have enjoyed that... Idiocracy seems all too real - remembering that 'Ass: The Movie' they talked about in that movie)

for another take on Transformers 2 - go check out ~Eidolon-Grey's review in her journal - [link]

It's kind of sad when the movie game Transformers 2: Rise of the Fallen is better than the actual movie. How often do you hear of that happening? I mean, the substance is there, the honorable Optimus is there. The banter between the various Transformers (both friends and foes) is definitely there. You get a better sense of who the characters are, and why they do what they do. They're not just pieces of furniture waiting to be blown up.

blargh...

Sorry for the rant... just thought I'd belch and spew out my !!!



Shout Out's! in no particular order & quite random!


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